Monday, May 12, 2008

Footwear

Last week the sun shone for the first time in eons and I (bring out the bunting) wore a dress to work. All winter I've worn the the same black boots with trousers, but unfortunately with a dress they look like jack boots and I look like a lesbian prison warden. In a desperate, last-minute search for suitable footwear, I got down on my hands and knees and scrabbled under the chest-of-drawers until I found a smart pair of shoes I bought a couple of months ago.

These were more than an impulse buy, they were a microsecond whim buy. It happened as I was driving away from my friend Deborah's house with the children in the back of the car. The shoe shop at the end of her street was open and they were having a sale, and lo and behold there was a free parking space right outside the door. I told the children I would be gone for no more than three minutes and threatened them with death if they killed each other while I was gone. Three minutes later, I came back bearing quite a nice pair of black shoes with a little strap and two-inch heels.

You probably think that two-inch heels are nothing, sensible even. But I am no Carrie Bradshaw, to me two-inch heels are like stilts - I wobble around on them uncontrollably, my whole body bending forward to counter the giddiness that the extra height induces. And the pain after about an hour is unbearable - the pain of having five toes squashed into a space only big enough for two, the pain of a dainty little strap digging into the tops of my feet which seem to have got puffier and pinker all of a sudden making my feet look like Miss Piggy's trotters stuffed into Betty Boop's stilettos.

By the end of the day I could hardly walk. I tottered home, wincing with every step, walked in the door, pulled off the shoes-of-torture and slipped into my trusty Crocs. AAhhhh. Ohhhhhh. Bliss. The comfort of that rubber material, the roominess for all of my poor bruised toes to take up as much space as they feel they need, the springiness in the sole, the refreshing air that wafts in through those attractive little holes.

Now, I know that lots of you think that Crocs are the shoes of the devil, and a very fashion-unconscious devil at that, but I love my three pairs and I sometimes even throw street cred to the wind and venture outdoors with them on.

But guess what, my closet Croc days are over because now they're making them with three-inch heels. I'm going to be wobbling in comfort baby!



(I will stick my fingers in my ears and sing loudly if I get a hint of any Croc-hate in the comments)

22 comments:

christina said...

Oooh, no hate from me - I want some!

Lesley said...

Christina: I am so disappointed, it turns out that this model is only available in the USA and they're completely out of stock in this colour and my size!

Le laquet said...

Oh they are lovely - and how come you avoided the fashion police comments that I got from Andy and la Bella Stella??

Le laquet said...

p.s. - they have them in the UK ... would they post to France do you think? (http://www.jellyegg.com/Crocs/Crocs-Shoes/sc1275/p3377.aspx)

Lesley said...

Oooooh, thanks for that le laquet. I've ordered them and only £4 postage for France!

Anonymous said...

And still no comment as to how you avoided anti-Crocs-angst from Andy and la Bella Stella!!

p.s. you're welcome - I've ordered them too - size 8 in red - LUSH!!

Jo

Lesley said...

Jo: Well Stella did twitter something to me today including the words Crocs and nevah! As for Andy, well i doubt the high heels would suit him, so he's obviously jealous.

Neil said...

The link below (I know nothing about html!) does not necessarily represent the view of this commentor but I always think it's best to keep up to date with the latest medical opinions from reputable news websites.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/crocs-link-to-smugness-and-idiocy-20070806326/

Mickle in NZ said...

The official shoes for the New Zealand Olympic team are ...... Black Crocs

Lesley said...

Neil: My whole life philosophy and my belief in my own uniqueness is in tatters now. Thanks for that.

Mickle:I'll bet they have little white fern jibbitz too!

Andy said...

I'm dumbfounded by these shoes.

I'm sure you'll enjoy them [chokes]

Lesley said...

Andy: dumfounded by their elegance of course.

andy said...

I dumbfounded myself today, I bought a Jasper Conran belt.

deborah said...

Is Croc-hate the same as Plastic-hate? Wondered what these shoes were made of and it says on the site 'molded resin' ... is that a euphemism for plastic? Are they bio-degradable? That is the question.

Rosie said...

brilliant...my stilt teetering days are long gone, I am known as the queen of flip-flops.These will make a nice change from my docs...

meredic said...

She Of The Townhouse wont rest easy until she has secured a black pair for herself.
Visiting Fronsac an Libourne in the summer. Anywhere near?

beaverboosh said...

Comfy but a bit sweaty compared to Birks!

Lesley said...

Deborah: Just thinking about buying these actualy makes your life more eco-friendly so it doesn't really matter what they're made of.

meredic: Sent you a message re Fronsac (lovely wine).

beaverboosh : They do Birks with heels - now those I would wear.

Everybody : They arrived last week. They're too small and, guess what, it turns out that a wobbly 3-inch heel is a wobbly 3-inch heel whatever it's made of.

deborah said...

Very smart answer, Lesley! The right answer is lightweight plastic called polyethylene resin! And you better be careful ...

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/fashion/story/0,,2275495,00.html

... Crocs are the target of a stern safety warning issued by the Japanese authorities.

Victims have suffered broken toes, gashes and bruising after their shoes became trapped between the steps and the side of the escalator.

Lesley said...

Deborah: Oh dear, Eloïse has a pair and I'm quite sure she would meet the criteria for "poor user behaviour" on escalators.

deborah said...

Yes, I liked that "poor user behaviour" too. I wonder if that is a way out of being sued.

Spotted in online Telegraph :

Even Crocs are better, as they have a strap at the back.

Crocs? But they are so three years ago!

maitresse said...

wow, I don't actually hate them! totter on!