Tuesday, March 04, 2008

On the Theme of the Theme Park

I should always blog a holiday immediately after getting back, otherwise I get caught up in unpacking and doing mounds of washing and the memories fade. And that preamble is an excuse for the following disjointed assemblage of wordy holiday snapshots.

One of the things I like most about going to America is the opportunity to test out my mastery of a foreign language learned largely through the diligent study of TV-series. When I come out with these exotic yet familiar Americanisms, I pause in trepidation expecting people to burst out laughing and say "you didn't really think we said that, did you?" I tried the following out to no discernible mirth:

-Can I get .... ?
-Two cinnamon danish to go.
-I'm good (repeated at least 20 times a day in response to the constant request to know "How are you today?")
-Can we get a cab? (unfortunately I couldn't remember the expression for taxi rank, so had to back-pedal)
-Easy over, please.
-Where can I get this prescription filled?

Ah, yes, the prescription. Z was ill (got ill?) on the very first day and I had to take him to a doctor. The consultation cost $260, the generic amoxicillin was $46. Sicko indeed!

When he was feeling a bit better, we hit the parks and much fun with Disney characters and on many rides ensued. The whole Disney experience is incredibly well organised - transport runs smoothly, help and information are readily available, there is no litter, everything is well maintained and there is generally a lot less tackiness than you might expect. And I'd definitely recommend going at this time of year - we queued hardly at all.

The only shock came when we discovered that there is no alcohol in the Magic Kingdom, not even beer. (In a bar at Orlando airport we were asked for ID before we got out drinks. But it's true that my Mum does look pretty young for her age).

One of the remarkable things in the parks is the number of wheelchairs. There are hundreds of people whizzing around on electric chairs that are available for hire. At first you think how great it is that the parks are accessible to so many disabled people but you soon realise — as they jump out of the seat and practically run onto one of the rides — that most of the occupants are simply lazy gits who can't be bothered to walk around the park.

One of the highlights of the week was Cirque du Soleil in Downtown Disney: a great experience with lots of vibrant colour and movement, fabulous acrobatics and rococo costumes.

By far the most unpleasant person we came across last week was the officous security woman at Gatwick airport who gleefully chucked the children's cough medicine in the bin along with my minuscule amount of contact lens fluid which had already been on three flights. "You're in Britain now", she smirked.


Lucy said...

Yes, you can rely on the Brits to out-unpleasant everyone!
Glad you had a good time, amazing about the able-bodied wheelchair users...

Ms Mac said...

Doesn't everyone use that phrase about having a prescription filled? I know I always say that. Maybe it's an Aussie-ism (they picked up a lot from the 'Mericans in the war) that I never realised wasn't British?

Lesley said...

Ms Mac: I've just checked in my trusty Chambers dictionary and it give "to make up (a prescription) (U.S.))so yes, I think you've probably been contaminated by those Aussies.

deborah said...

Yes I agree, top marks for sadism go to the security/customs officials at Gatwick. In my experience they are even worse than the Russians.

Rosie said...

no alcohol? my instincts have always said no to disneyland, and now I know why. I think that you suffered beyond the call of parenthood

spentrails said...

Gatwick is the worst. I flew from there (and back) to Inverness this weekend. Incredibly rude and altogether unpleasant. They remind me a bit of the footsoldiers of fascism: "we're only doing our job". etc.

Sarah Mackenzie said...

The phrase that always gets me is "What the heck!" HECK! People actually say HECK. Change a couple of the first letters and keep the last two and you have a much more appropriate "I'm very annoyed" word. Even "What the...!" is better.

Anyway glad that Z didn't miss out. Can you imagine! Ill on holiday! What the (insert more appropriate word here)!