It all started when I saw this article on 10 common sense diet tips. Before I go any further, I should tell you that these tips were written by a man. That knowledge should have been enough to make me think twice about clicking on the link since it is a well-documented fact that all men have to do is stop taking salt on their chips and they lose 12 kilos instantly.
I perused the ten tips anyway. I didn't like seven of them so I ignored them. The ones I did like were 1. drink lots of water, 2. weigh yourself every single day, and especially 3. don't try to diet at the weekend.
1 and 2 were very effective, I lost weight. But guess what, number 3 is NOT AT ALL EFFECTIVE, unless you want to be thin(ner) only on Thursdays and Fridays. It is especially ineffective if you make banoffee pie on Saturday.
Now, in a last ditch attempt to kick start my metabolism I have resorted to jogging (but only on Sundays). For the moment I feel very much like Gordon:
"...my feet feel at one with the shoe and I can bound forward like a gazelle.. which has recently eaten a hippo."
6 comments:
yes, but you do realise our penance for this is to blog for ever about shoes and kittens. I'm sorry for taking us down this rocky road...
Funny you should say that because yesterday I saw the cutest little ball of fluff......
Here's another tip for you: I read somewhere once that the best way to lose weight is to chew every mouthful 27 times.
I'm assuming that this is because after chewing 27 times you want to spit the food right back out again. Or, be sick.
Anyone out there want to make a million? Write a book about a wonder diet. Or a cookery book which keeps an eye on the calories.
We need to think of a brilliant title like 'How to eat delicious food and never get fat'
Perhaps it has already been done. If not I'll be your agent, Lesley ... fifty/fifty?
Ms Mac: Sounds like a recipe for social exclusion too. Would you like to have dinner with someone who chews that much?
Deborah: I was just looking for a book for my brother's birthday and my cursor hovered over Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin". Perhaps I should get it for myself. I feel drowsy, very, very drowsy.
Hilarious post!
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