Friday, April 21, 2006

We've been, we're back


We're back, we're back and we're very tired. A wonderful time was had by all, of course, despite a few minor hiccups. Here are a few handy hints on how to spice up your holiday:

1. Apply for your passport well after the deadline. Arrange to have it delivered twenty minutes before you have to be at the airport by which time you will be standing in the street hailing all passing vans.

2. Once in the airport, nerves still clattering, encourage your little boy to announce just as you arrive at the security check that he has a toy pistol in his backpack. Aghast, watch said pistol being confiscated by disapproving security people for immediate destruction. Reassure little boy that he will not be going to prison.

3. When you arrive at the hotel try to secure that wonderful big family room that has a fabulous view of the pool, the palm trees and the beach. At 2 a.m. wonder why you didn't realise you would be sleeping (ha ha) directly above the trillion-decibel sound system in the disco below. Only manage to change to another non-vibrating room two nights later.

4. Arrange to have several family members infected with conjuctivitis: preferably the variety in which rivers of yellow slime flow from their reddened eyes day and night.

5. And finally, why not have the bus for the return flight leave the hotel at 1 a.m.? That should ensure that you get back so tired that the benefit of a week of farniente will have been entirely cancelled out.

Photos later.

5 comments:

Ms Mac said...

Yes, but did you have a good time?

Oh go on! Someone had to do it! ;-)

deborah said...

I like those disapproving security people .... I've had several nail scissors zapped at Mérignac airport.
Sorry about the conjunctivitis ..... mine once had mild chicken pox all of a sudden but only travelling to England ....

Lesley said...

Ms Mac: Yes, absolutely despite those lowlights!

Deborah: there was a little left over gastroenteritis too but I glossed over that.

Sarah Mackenzie said...

Ha ha. Oh, Z***! You monkey. This is why K thinks that you are a God. I don't suppose it would be entirely ethical to use the "prison" possibility on him in the future hmm...? Probably not. As for conjuctivitis I've suffered too. It seems to know that this is the time that you most want to look laid back and winsome and so it decides to create a little havoc to add spice to it's dull and malignant life it and turns you into a pussey (?) pusey(?) toad for the duration. Spooky.

Aren't holidays supposed to make you releived to be home? I'm sure that my parents were particularily relived to get their brood of 7 back in the house and even more importantly back in school. Just how much "Are we there yet?" can a human being reasonably be expected to take?

Anyway I'm reading between the lines here and assuming that a great time was had by all ;-)

Lesley said...

Yes Sarah, I definitely looked like a toad: a toad in glasses because I couldn't wear my contacts. It's come back again actually, but luckily I've got some OTC Tunisian antibiotics.