For several months free issues of your "newspaper for English-speakers in France" have been plopping onto my doormat. You can stop now - I will not be taking out a subscription to your newspaper.
a) I don’t seem to be part of your target readership. I’m not a retired major from the Home Counties wallowing in “fantastic weather, delightful food and lovely wine”
b) I’m not interested in "safeguarding my finances" by handing them over to companies with trusty English names like Sibballs or Stanley Gobbons
c) I do not hanker after the services of one of the numerous British plumbers or joiners, or even sausages advertised in your small ads.
d) And I don’t suffer from "Septic tank odour" either which is sadly not the case of many of your readers, if those same ads are anything to go by.
e) I don’t believe that Anglo- at the beginning of a company name guarantees quality (viz Anglopack, Anglocomputers)
f) I’m not looking to import a Raeburn or an Aga
g) The soaring French membership of "Conservatives Abroad" is a source of dismay to me
h) I’m not looking for an Anglican church service either
i) And finally, fascinating as they sound, life is simply too short to read articles with headlines such as:
Mince Pies flying off shop shelves as local shops get a taste for Anglo Specialities
Planning a traditional bumper-scale Christmas lunch ? Check your French bird isn’t too skinny !
That is all.